Shaming

Public pressure as a substitute for accountability. You get compliance and lose learning.

What it looks like

The mistake gets named in the meeting, with the person in the room. The feedback is public and the praise is private. People learn fast that the safest thing is to not be noticed, so the honest reports stop. You believe you are holding people to a high standard. They believe you are looking for someone to blame.

The flattering misread

Candor. Holding people accountable. “I’m just being direct.”

The tell

People have stopped bringing you bad news.

What it protects

Your own fear of being blamed. Shaming moves the exposure to someone else before it can land on you.

Where it shows up

Visibility, when the pressure of being watched gets passed down. Opposition, when a disagreement becomes a public correction. Repair, when the after-action review turns into a trial.

The move back

Correct in private. Praise in public. Ask what the person was trying to do before you tell them what they did wrong. Reward the person who brought the bad news, every time.

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